Tri-ing too hard...

One Olympic distance Tri, One Half-Ironman distance Tri and One Sprint distance Tri in exactly one week. I don't think I've ever worked out this hard other than during Sundown's 100km Ultra.  And what happened?  2 DNFs because of the swim and finally completed the Sprint but ONLY because Paul swam with me.  Will I ever make it alone?

I tried.

When we arrived on Friday, I did go down to the beach.  I had wanted to take a dip in the water to "feel the water" as I'm always told to do.  But there was no time. We already had to go for briefing and it was too late to enter the waters by the time briefing was over.

The next morning, when we gathered on the beach for the swim start,  Pui San went in the water with me but I only paddled out barely a few meters and I turned back.  Winnie came to hug me. Nik came to encourage me. Agnes came to encourage me.  A-Bou and Meei Meei kept telling me to relax.

I tried.

When Uncle Chan sounded the horn,  I held back to let everyone go first.  Pui San knew I hesitated.  She asked if I wanted her to swim with me.  I told her no, please go ahead.  This is something I needed to get through by myself.

I went in and started stroking. The first wave came and the second wave came. And then I panicked. I couldn't see beyond the waves. I quickly turned back. I got out of the waters. Tong Ngee and Tk motioned for me to continue.  Not to give up. But I just couldn't do it.  I stood there for a while and watched the others go further and further. Then another lady came out of the waters too. And about 4 more others came back with the jet ski.  We all couldn't make it in the waters.   Then the other lady asked the jet ski to follow her as she wanted to try again.  I asked if I could follow too. As we were about to enter the waters and try again, Uncle Chan stopped us and said No, you both won't make the cut off swim time.    But when he turned his back, she dived in anyway.  I was told she finished one lap.  We were supposed to swim two.   I was so crushed, I started crying again. Yeah I'm a crybaby. So what. I just don't understand why is it so hard to get through the swim.

Then K came to me and said I can still bike and run if I want.  At first I was thinking, why the heck would I still want to suffer through a 92km cycle and 22km run when it's already a DNF?  But I looked at my bike and my hydration bag and I'd already prepared two bottles.  All these drinks will go to waste.  I put on my clip shoes.  I saw Tk.  He asked am I still going to cycle? I said yes.   Then I went out to cycle.  I started cycling first but Tk caught up with me and said Good Job and went ahead.  Then Henry passed me, Bryan passed me, Yin Fook passed me, so many people passed me.  I finished the cycle (it was over distanced and became 94km instead of 92km) in about 4 hours 14 mins.   You're supposed to do it in 3 hours. Oh well. Rolling hills and strong headwinds.  Even the seasoned triathletes were complaining about it.

Came back from cycling and changed into my vibrams.  This would be the highest single mileage in them.  I haven't been building high mileage in them actually. Only for really short runs.  But I wanted to try. So I went out to run, by then it was already 1.30pm and it was scorching hot.

At first I was running.  Others had started walking.  I thought no. I need to try and run this whole thing.  Yeah right. I think I only lasted 5k's before I found out why most people were walking.  It was just too hot.


At the end of the first U-Turn, I bumped into Pui San and we walked/ran together. We bumped into so many others and encouraged each other.  When we were almost nearing the end of the 22km,  Pui San told me for the third time, to go ahead if I wanted to try and meet the cut off time. So I said Ok and went ahead.  I managed to continue running until I met Alban from Singapore.  I recognised him from Sundown 100km Ultra and PD Tri.   We chatted for abit.  I found out he has done Ironman 4 times but this time Desaru was just too hot and tough for him.  Then I left him and started running towards the hotel already where the finish line is.  Bloody hell the run back to the finish line had to be this loop around the apartments first.  You know how torturous that is right? When the finish line is JUST THERE but you need to go one bloody round first. WAHLAUWEH.

By then many had already finished the whole distance.  At the end of the event,  Henry, Cassey, Meei Meei, Eric, Eng Hui, Bryan, Pui San, Winnie, Zul, Halim, Hooi Siah, David Ong Eng Kian, (all first timers.... was it Terence's first time? Sorry if I missed out your name) had become Desaru Long Distance/ half ironman distance finishers.


I only managed to get through the swim in the Sprint category the next day

and finish the whole thing despite having muscle soreness from the previous days' 94k cycle and 22k run/walk. I couldn't pedal any faster despite it being just 17km.

Of course it felt like shit that I almost made it but I didn't in the Long Distance. If only I pushed through the waves, I would be a half ironman distance finisher too.  But it's okay.  I have another chance to Tri again at the end of the year. Laguna Phuket Triathlon (1.8km swim, 55km bike, 12km run) on 27th Nov and Ironman 70.3 (1.9km swim, 90km bike, 21km run) Phuket on 4th Dec.

Those two events will be the ultimate test of my independence and survival at swimming.  There will be NO ONE there to swim with me.  Plus the swim course is unique.  We have to swim in the sea first, then come out and run over to the lake then swim in the lake.  I'm not sure why it's divided like that, but it's what makes Phuket Tri different from the others.  Will I make it when I'm completely alone?

What made Desaru extra special despite it being really tough is that so many friends from the running circle were also doing it this time.  The pain and torture is alot more bearable when you're in the company of friends.  You will also achieve the goal when it's what YOU want to do. Not just because everyone else is doing it.

Honestly speaking, I think I've proven myself enough already with all the shit I've put myself through in just 1 year 7 months. I'm not doing this because of ah chee, ah seng or ah kao. I'm doing all this just to find out if I can. And I know I can.  I just need to fix my open water swim confidence.

The only crappy thing about the past 10 days is not only about the two DNFs.  I was given unfavourable news at work the moment I came back from Desaru,  which is forcing me to re-evaluate my priorities and forcing me out of my comfort zone.  Maybe it's time to move on and finally do what I love doing most.  

Tell you in 3 months' time.